Today I loaned our local high school some outdoor furniture. But before I drove down there, I had to think up something to dazzle the student body. Unfortunately, I was only able to dazzle the female half of the student body, because the high school was still crawling with students 3 hours after school got out. Thus, I wasn’t able to sneak into the boys bathroom to post this awesome sticker:

Clip Art Razors, sooo trendy omg
Hopefully I’m saving the janitors some messy biological cleanup.
why is cutting cool anyways? theres ton of people at my school that cut,,,its very weird but anyways, I want that sticker so badly! it would freak out all de emos at my school rahrahrah
This would have been better without the emo reference. It would prolong the “wait, is this real?” feeling. I’d even go so far as to remove the exclamation point. Imagine it read in a completely deadpan manner.
I don’t know the why of cutting, but I’ve heard of a new and more dysfunctional way. People are actually putting the blade under their skin and leaving it there!! Some genius called a suicide hotline worried about the huge infection on her arm related to this practice. Let’s hear it for natural selection!
emos are gay
emos go down the road not across the street!!!!!!