Today I loaned our local high school some outdoor furniture.  But before I drove down there, I had to think up something to dazzle the student body.  Unfortunately, I was only able to dazzle the female half of the student body, because the high school was still crawling with students 3 hours after school got out.  Thus, I wasn’t able to sneak into the boys bathroom to post this awesome sticker:

Clip Art Razors, sooo trendy omg

On the way out of my dentist’s office last week, I noticed this awesome passive agressive sign, complete with inappropriate quotation marks:

Of course, I was totally impressed with it, but felt it could use some improvements.  Here’s my rendition of a scarier sign, carefully thought out in Comic Sans:

In one brief sign, I insulted the paper thief, the local police, and Jesus!  Aren’t I talented?  Yes, I know Jesus wasn’t “prosecuted,” but I threw that in merely in order to add authenticity, posing as the retard that thought posting a sign would keep their precious paper on the walkway.   Sure, I know it was torn down by the first silly Christian that was deeply offended.  But, offending that ONE person sure makes me happy as hell.  (OMG HOW PUNNY)

(P.S. – You can thank Brad for the huge ass size of the second sign, since he decided to deride me for my shitty cell phone camera pics; he said something about how they’re not “good enough” for his website and he’d take away all my priviliges if I tried that shit again.  He’s a total snob.)

I’ve decided to hijack Brad’s signhacker.com since I love it so much and it’s the best idea he’s ever had.  In fact, I wish it was my idea.  In addition, since I’ve recently obtained such a hard on for sign hackery and general obnoxious mayhem, you can expect to see lots of stupid posts from me.  Keep the eye rolling to a minimum.

Today I was in a Christian coffee shop — the kind with lots of bible verses beautifully framed on the wall and little notes like “Thanks for your tips!  God Bless!”  While I was there, a gang of sheriff deputies came in and sat down.  Of course they made me nervous, because when I’m not wowing police officers everywhere, I’m usually doing things they’d at the very minimum write me a ticket for.  I got out of there as fast as I could, but not before committing the stupidest of crimes: mindless vandalism.

This is a new site and it’s about sign hacking. Hence, the name. Clever, eh? My name is Brad Carter and you may know me from Phone Losers of America or Old People Are Funny.

I’ve been h4×0ring signs for at least half my life now, so I’ve finally decided to make a website to showcase these sign hacks. Not only my own sign manipulations, but other peoples’ as well. There’s a lot of good sign hacks that I’ve seen over the past few years that would be fun to show anyone who’s interested. And lastly, I’m hoping a giant collection of sign hacking will encourage other people to try their own unique fun with signs.

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If you have any suggestions for this site, you can email them to me at rbcp at phonelosers.org. I hope you enjoy this site! I will start updating it with sign hacks very soon.